Raindrops on Roses
by Jean Louise
Summary: A story set after the Great War - Harry is scarred from his past and struggling with his presesnt. Will he be able to accept the help he needs to find his feet again?


Disclaimer: It all belongs to the glory of she whose name is not worthy to be typed on my humble computer…ok maybe that was a bit much…All for you JK :D

_Dear Hermione,_

_It was great to hear from you, and I'd be more than happy to join you and the Weasleys for the holidays. I'll probably be a little later than Friday though…work has been hell. Send my thoughts the Weasley's way and let me know if there are any changes in the plans._

_Harry_

Harry held up the quickly scribbled note in front of him before hurriedly rolling it up and tying it to Hedwig's leg. "Straight to Hermione all right girl?" he instructed her with fake enthusiasm. She nipped his finger affectionately and took off into the night air leaving him alone again.

Looking around his study with a sigh, he closed up his work for the night and walked down the stairs toward the kitchen. It was an absolute mess. He shook his head at himself. He'd been so busy with the ministry the past few weeks he'd completely neglected the well being of himself and, obviously displayed before him, his house. Almost lazily grabbing his wand he started the dishes washing themselves and the mop went to work on the floor. He hadn't seen it this bad since…well since the Order had taken up residence there.

That idea hadn't lasted long at all. It was an absolute disaster…over 20 members of the Order had crammed themselves into Grimmauld Place. Roommates drove each other mad, the commotion was non stop, there was never a dull moment…He could still hear their voices echoing through the halls.

Harry came out of his trance just in time to see the mop place itself back into the closet, and the last plate fly into a cabinet. He looked around his clean kitchen.

What he wouldn't give for that commotion now. The quiet was so menacing to him sometimes…it forced him to think. The more he thought, the more he regretted, the more he wished for, the more he missed with all his being…he feared it was driving him insane…

"You aren't insane, mate…you're just sad, you miss Sirius," Ron said walking up next to him in the doorway.

"And you," Harry put in as an afterthought.

"Nah," Ron said shaking head, "You don't need me. I needed you, Harry. I was dependent on you…never the other way around…"

"No Ron, I needed you just as much…I'm sorry I didn't see him."

"Let it go Harry, you were protecting Hermione…you made the right choice…"

"She was still strong…I should have seen you were getting weaker…"

"She was your girlfriend then Harry, it was your duty to protect her."

"You're my best friend Ron, you should have come first…it was my fault…it was my fault…and more than that it was against my oaths! It was against everything I had promised, everything I had been trained for, I CHOKED! Every word of the code is engrained in my mind, I didn't think! No personal matters of any kind shall interfere with any and all responsibilities of every day work, furthermore-"

"Harry stop…"

Harry turned to Ron…he was gone…there was no one there...

He slowly rotated around to see face the owner of the shaking voice that had rung out in the silence. There were tears streaming down Hermione's face as she cowered under his gaze.

"Hermione," he stated weakly. "How long have…what are you doing here?"

"You were talking…you were talking Harry, who's here…who were you talking to?"

"I was…I was…" he stuttered.

They stood there in silence, Hermione looking terrified, Harry looking horrified at himself.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright Harry…it's ok…"

For the first time since his recovery, it was clear to Hermione that the war had indeed taken its toll on Harry Potter.

A/N: I realize this is more of a summary than a chapter, but with my schedule any and all of my writing is going to be posted in bits and pieces…and I PROMISE I'm not always this depressing and dark…this came out a little serious for me…I hate to ask for reviews because I hate being asked for reviews, but if you have a couple seconds...I'd love to hear what you think, even if it is… "constructive criticism" to put it nicely :D I love you as it is for reading this and I really appreciate your time…that said, I won't take anymore of it. 


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